The big Funds and Institutions, the Exchanges, the Brokerage Firms, the Investment Bankers, the Commercial Banks and Venture Capitalists as well as Main Street all maneuver for a share of what they deem to be an appropriate piece of the action.

                The Financier

               Oh Wall Street’s e'er a Place of Dreams,
               Men, Fortunes, chase, though Ponzi Schemes;
               So Brok'rage Firms court Bonds and Stocks,
               Then Margin call or short the Box.

               The Dow is down; the NASDAQ’s up,
               How much to fill a Yuppie's Cup?
               Most Pension Funds will make you rich,
               'Diversify!'... the Salesman's Pitch.

               Investment Bankers dare not wish:
               'Red Herrings smell like rotten Fish!'
               Prospectuses or Prospecti,
               Just read them well, before you buy!

               Choose IPO's and Mergers, bold,
               Use Alchemy, turn Lead to Gold;
               Yet Brokers yell, must tout their Wares,
               Let Transfer Agents shell out Shares.

               Top Analysts will pick and choose,
               Flip-flop Positions; never lose;
               It matters not if you do well,
               So long as we still buy or sell!

               From Boiler Rooms to Trading Floor,
               Wild Rumors fly; the Prices soar;
               Portfolios were made to churn,
               For ev'ry Trade, Commissions, earn.

               Hot Puts and Calls, could test one's Luck;
               Commodities, all make a Buck,
               If Dot.coms' Zest, should fall apart;
               Delisted Firms, would break your Heart!

               Cold Corp'rate Raiders take an Aim,
               Spend Megabucks but win the Game;
               To hedge against a pending Crash,
               Be sure you hold unending Cash.

               While Bulls and Bears, become Bigwigs,
               It’s Greed, alone, that slaughters Pigs;
               As you divest, you'll need your Brains,
               Lest Taxes eat, the short-term Gains.

               When Greenspan speaks, the World abides,
               Rates, Int'rest, mean, can spate the Tides;
               In Market Peaks or odd Declines,
               Great God, I hate, 1099’s!

Click On Image To Return To Contents Page

© Howard B. Eskin 2000