We certainly could have used Will Rogers these past few years. His observations and political satire were cut short by his untimely death in 1935. However, his humor is timeless and would be just as appropriate today.  This week marked the anniversary of the Oklahoma bombing and today we went from Daylight Savings back to Standard Time. I have taken the liberty  of paraphrasing some recent headlines and weaving  them into a Rogersesque poem …I know this gentle man from Oklahoma would have forgiven me.

                   “Well, All I Know Is Just
                                              What I Read In The Papers.”

     BILL CLINTON’S HEADED FOR THE DOCKS

     IMPEACHMENT STILL ALL JUSTICE MOCKS

     A BROKERED PEACE, MID-EASTERN BLOCS
     COULD SHREDDED BE, BY CRITICS’ KNOCKS
     IN NO-FLY ZONES BESIDES IRAQ’S

     NEWT GINGRICH IS A SLY, OLD FOX

     EACH LIBERAL, OUR FUTURE, HOCKS

     THE MORAL RIGHT, E'ER, KINDNESS BLOCKS
     FIND FAIRNESS, NE'ER, FROM FALWELL'S FLOCKS

     MADONNA'D WEAR, NOT QUITE, NEW FROCKS

     BEAT 'ROUND THE BUSH OR GORE AN OX
     BUT FIGHT TO WIN THAT BALLOT BOX
     SUPREME COURT SMITES POPULI VOX

     NO COPYRIGHT FOR CHINESE WOKS
     PUTS ASIAN MARKETS ON THE ROCKS
     WHEN HEDGE FUNDS DUMP JUNK BONDS & STOCKS

     JOHN GLENN MIGHT PUMP SPACESHIP’S AIRLOCKS
     FOR MARTIAN DRILL, LIKE MISTER SPOCK’S

     MAD BOMBERS KILL ABORTION DOCS

     KEVORKIAN WILL AID HEMLOCKS

     FRAYED BALKANS BURN, A TINDERBOX
     STRAYED MUSLIMS CHURN; BADE SERBS THE POX

     DAMN YANKEES, PLAYED, SO PROUD, PEACOCKS
     WHILE OVERPAID ARE STARRS AND JOCKS

     SAD SCHOOLHOUSE SHOOTER SURELY SHOCKS
     YET NRA'S STAYED TRIGGER LOCKS

     PLEASE DON’T FORGET; TURN BACK THOSE CLOCKS
     IT'S TIME FOR AUTUMN'S EQUINOX

     MOST CONGRESSMEN JUST FILL UP CROCKS

     BEND OVER FOLKS AND GRAB YOUR SOCKS!
 

 

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© Howard B. Eskin  2000