No future President; no future candidate for public office nor any governmental leader will ever be saintly enough to be able to withstand this kind of partisan scrutiny. If some people have a problem with the Oval Office, who gives them the right to burn down the White House?
Oh awful Meanies of the Right,
Conservatives, who take delight,
Attacking Ev’rything in sight;
E’er criticize for Fun or Spite;
No Doubt they’d rather run than fight;
Their constant Bark’s worse than their Bite!
This Kenneth Starr’s beyond the Pale;
To hound poor Victims off to Jail,
He’d Valjean-chase the Holy Grail;
His lawful Quest is bound to fail,
Like Ahab and that scary Whale;
A Grinch-blessed, Gingrich Fairy Tale?
These Prosecutors do demand;
Investigations to expand;
Subpoena Powers out of Hand;
They’ll threaten Scarlet Letters, brand;
And immunize a Witness, stand,
To squeeze Indictments, juried, grand!
Wild Headlines break; filed Stories clipped;
News Anchors lead with Leaks well quipped;
Alleged Crimes; Reporters tipped;
More Reputations sorely ripped;
For Monica remains tight-lipped,
Unless, of course, she’s Linda Tripped!
The frenzied Media persists;
Ms. Jones’ Case has been dismissed,
With no Appeal, Starr-crossed, not kissed;
Though zealous, Paranoids insist,
On finding Sin where none exists;
Inquisitors just can't resist!
When Secret Service testifies,
Protection out the Window flies;
Bill Clinton weaves such wicked Lies,
Then White House Aides spin Alibis;
His Opposition magnifies,
The Prosecution, crucifies!
This Fourth Estate must e’er report,
A President who’d dare cavort;
Republicans presume a Tort,
As Democrats withdraw support;
Politicos all fume and snort,
To guarantee whose Day in Court?
If at the Polls you can’t unseat,
A President, who’s indiscreet;
Set Wiretaps; cajole, browbeat;
Informers, bold, who lie and cheat;
Use legal Traps, perhaps, Deceit;
Grill White House Aides; turn up the Heat.
Get Evidence, not just, complete;
All those opposed, you must defeat;
You’re sitting in God’s Judgment Seat!
Such Arrogance could be effete,
Iconoclast, would-be, Elite,
Agendas pushed; beyond Conceit.
Your Accusations in Concrete;
Sam Dash, resigned, beat his Retreat,
While Hyde and Seek played Trick or Treat;
Censure, indict, beseech, entreat,
Impeach, convict; Revenge is sweet;
Whose Fam’ly's Values did you meet?
Self-righteous Folks, who are obsessed,
Hate Presidents who’ve sinned, transgressed,
Still through it all, have not confessed;
The Voters’ Will, has been finessed,
By Congressmen, consumed, possessed;
All Testimony's second-guessed!
Our Constitution’s Acid Test,
Is Innuendo, blue-stained, dressed;
A Congress mad, yet, Full Court pressed,
Are, with themselves, too damned impressed;
This Nation’s under House Arrest,
So please let go; give it a Rest!
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© Howard B. Eskin 1998