!65humanism

During the Middle Ages the Humanist writers tried to shake up the Establishment. Many of them were anti-Church and anti-Government. They used the sometimes offensive vehicles of irony, shock, satire, ribald humor, irreverence and very explicit descriptions of the human condition to underscore the blatant insensitivity, cruelty, arrogance and hypocrisy of the rich and powerful. Unfortunately, things haven’t really improved very much in the past few hundred years!

The three wonderful Gustave Doré illustrations, are from the
Divine Comedy , Don Quixote and Paradise Lost .

If Cervantes, Dante and Voltaire Only Knew!

              I’ve never really understood,
              Who puts to Waste the Neighborhood;
              Why Foods, unhealthy, taste so good;
              How Roads diverge in yellow Wood.

              Booze Quaffing sure must tax your Wits,
              Butt Smoking hacks up coughing Fits;
              Sweet Scarfing racks up lots of Zits,
              Yet Heart Attacks are just the Pits!

              This Aging Process wears us out,
              It’s Mem’ry Loss; can’t hear a Shout;
              True Gluttony begets the Gout,
              Our Future's with Regrets, no Doubt!

              Bulimia is growing thin;
              Still chewing Gum’s a Mortal Sin;
              If doing Drugs will do you in,
              We'd notify your Next of Kin!

              A Couch Potato’s slothful Life,
              Could mitigate 'gainst Toil and Strife,
              Would not appease an angry Wife,
              Should Husbands eat Peas with a Knife.

              Foul Breath is coarse, 'twould wilt a Rose,
              And force good Friends to come to Blows;
              It isn’t nice to pick your Nose,
              Or mention Runners in her Hose.

              Cold Night Sweats are a fatal Trait;
              Jaw Grinding’s bound to kill a Date;
              Loud Snoring’d never thrill a Mate,
              When you, your Navel, contemplate.

              Lost Flatulence remains uncouth,
              Glossed Flattery, disdains the Truth,
              As Tartar stains an unflossed Tooth,
              Like embossed Stamps of John Wilkes Booth!

              More School Kids, young, are being shot;
              Poor Monica's too hot to trot;
              Foot Fungus burns; black Tongues do rot,
              Though rancid Dung, turns Blood to Snot!

              The Congress is a House of Glass,
              Its Members possess Balls of Brass;
              Their selfish Games invoke Impasse,
              While blowing Smoke, right up your Ass!

              On Islands lush, Survivors vie,
              Win Jackpots, flush, by Schemes or Lie;
              Bin Laden's Bombs, crush; Sailors die,
              For Madmen's Dreams; Mom's Apple Pie?

              Celebrities, we’ll throw the Bird;
              All Politicians break their Word,
              With Rhetoric that's so absurd;
              It's Sugar Coating on the Turd!

              Blithe TV Hosts, preach, blather, fuss,
              Explain, impeach, each gloomy Gus,
              Dysfunctionals with Troubles Plus,
              Who’d rather writhe in Pain and Pus!

              A surly Manner isn’t nice,
              With Vinegar or nasty Spice;
              But neither are most Nits and Lice,
              Nor Raisins winged, o’er two-eyed Rice.

              Such Arrogance, from Men, in Power,
              Who just get richer, by the Hour,
              Then from on High, with Faces dour,
              Trickle down, each golden Shower!

              Oh, crude Behavior’s far the Worst;
              To guarantee a Fate that’s cursed,
              They'd make rude, stenching Bubbles burst;
              Drink Bathtub Waters, quenching Thirst!

              Lewd, rampant Sex’d swing and sway,
              With one true Church, no Need to pray,
              While Priests, with young Boys, have their Way;
              Fool's Gold and Greed let Souls decay,
              Hypocrisy breeds Disarray;
              World Leaders' Misdeeds hurt, betray,
              Wage racist Wars; pervert, dismay!

              Sad Dante fought Inferno’s Fray;
              Boccaccio sought Games risqué;
              Sage Voltaire, More, old Rabelais,
              Bold Humanists, who've had their Say,
              To hold mad Sybarites at Bay;
              Road Rage incites; a bad Hair Day,
              As Ashcroft steals your Rights away!

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